what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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