but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
