yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
