I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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