All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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