I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
