Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize