sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize