She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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