why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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