I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
