big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
