On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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