Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
