if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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