you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
