People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
