if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
