Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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