No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
