Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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