you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
