Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
