Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize