i think my tv is drunk
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Randomize
