bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
