I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
