i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
