I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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