so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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