remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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