It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
