it was like his penis was on wheels.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize