I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
