i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
