i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
