I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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