Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Drake has all the answers
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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