she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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