is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
