Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize