Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
