Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
