Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
