im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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