Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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