Got a toothbrush?
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
