Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize