Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize