11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
