after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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