I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
