You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
