Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
