"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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