Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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