I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
