He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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