Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
