i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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