I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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