peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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