You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
