Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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