sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Found the puke drawer
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
