Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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