so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
