drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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