laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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