i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
